One of the tactics of abuse I often see in religious homes and communities is spiritual abuse. This tactic typically presents as an abusive individual leveraging the scriptures or the faith practices, beliefs, and values of the victim as a means of manipulation and control. Whenever we see tactics of spiritual abuse, we should be alarmed and unsettled. For a person to co-opt the righteous words and ways of God and distort them for their own unrighteous gains is a dark, dangerous thing. It is idolatry. It's important to remember too that all abuse has a spiritual element to it because all abuse is, at its heart, a worship issue. Abusive people, in their pride and entitlement, are self-worshippers. By demanding that their values and desires be seen as ultimate, these people have set themselves up as gods to be worshiped in their own homes. Rather than compelling their families to seek and serve the Lord, these individuals are, through their abuse, proclaiming, "As for me and my house, we will serve my wants, my desires, and my demands." Therefore, to intervene on behalf of perpetrators is to call them to dismantle their illegitimate thrones, to set aside their own idolatrous reign of darkness, and to humbly surrender in repentance to the rightful King, Jesus. Victims living under the weight of abuse are being compelled and coerced to worship, surrender to, and pattern their lives after their abuser rather than Christ. They are being fed implicit and explicit lies about who God is, who He has called them to be, and how He has designed them to live in His kingdom of light. Therefore, to intervene on behalf of victims is to fight for their spiritual safety, to fight for their freedom to follow the One who died, was buried, and resurrected on their behalf, and to fight for the glory of God in their worship. If Christians are to take worship seriously, they must take all abuse seriously.
Be careful not to forget the covenant of the Lord your God that he made with you, and make an idol for yourselves in the shape of anything he has forbidden you. For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.
– Deuteronomy 4:23-24
If you would like to understand and respond wisely to spiritual abuse, please take advantage of the free resources linked below.
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