Morning Reminders

My children are young. Because they are young, their memories are short. I've learned it is much more effective to start our day with a brief, gentle reminder of our expectations for family interactions than to hold them to what they should [ideally] already know and then pounce when they inevitably fail to meet one of those expectations. So, on most mornings, we start our day with a reminder like this:

"Yesterday may have been hard, but today is a new day. And with new days come new choices. And that is a merciful gift from God. Today's choices do not have to be exactly like yesterday's choices. My hope is that, today, we will make choices that will help us to love each other, be kind to each other, and take care of each other. But it will be hard. Because of the sin in our hearts, we won’t always want to make those good choices. We need a Rescuer. We need Jesus to help our hearts to want to please God in these ways. Let’s pray and ask Him for help.”

After prayer, we usually talk through a few practical ideas of how we might accomplish these goals. We then make a short list of activities or tasks to be done. These ideas are not just for them, but for me as well. If I am going to love, be kind to, and take care of my girls, I need to know what they perceive as their needs and wants for the day. These goals are for me as the parent just as much as they are for them as children.

I've found, that on the days we begin with reminders like this, my children are only ever loving, kind, and quick to take care of one another and our home is peaceful and conflict-free.

Wait. No...that's not what happens at all. All of us fall short of these ideals on the regular. Despite starting our day with the best of intentions, we still make choices that directly work against these daily goals.

So why take the time to start each day with such a reminder when the failures of life still inevitably happen?

Because that is what God does for His people. Throughout the Scriptures, the prophets and apostles again and again wrote to God’s people, sending messages of history, instruction, commands, warning, and encouragement all acting as reminders of who God is, what He had done, and who they were called to be in response. In fact, because God is keenly aware His own children’s short memories, one of the Holy Spirit’s primary responsibilities is to remind Christ’s followers of what they already know (John 14:26). God reminds and reminds and reminds His people. Not once, but countless times over. God’s willingness to issue regular reminders has taught me three important things about His character and my parenting.

1) God, by reminding His people of His perfect track record and righteous ways, leads His unrighteous, imperfect children with patience and mercy. This side of eternity, I am much more like my children than I am like God. I am not perfectly righteous. I am not all knowing or all remembering. If I identify with anyone, it should be with my children who are quick to forget. Like them, I too am weak, sinful, limited in understanding, short in memory. If God leads His creation in this way, how much more should I, as a fallible parent, lead my children (who are just like me) with patience and mercy? 2) God, by reminding His people of His perfect track record and righteous ways, invites His children to participate in His ideals for His creation despite the common brokenness of living in a sin-cursed world.

If God, knowing better than we do the depths of our depravity and the brokenness of the world we live in, still invites us to participate in His good will and righteous ways, how much more should I knowingly invite my children into the good ideals of our family? Of course my children will fall short. We all do. But that doesn’t stop God from inviting His people to be a part of something bigger and more beautiful than anything they know on their own. My husband and I have a vision for our family (prayerfully informed by God’s ideals) and it should be our joy, to invite our children to participate, however imperfect their efforts may be. All we can do is to lay before them a reality of something bigger and more beautiful than anything they currently know and to invite them to be a part of it.

3) God, by reminding His people of His perfect track record and righteous ways, draws a loving distinction between Himself and His creation, bringing a convicting awareness of sin, a call to repentance, and an offer of salvation.

Because God is patient and merciful, and because He wants us to participate in His righteous ideals for the world He has created, He has to draw our attention to how we fall short of those ideals. Though made in His image, that image is marred by sin and that sin keeps us from fully participating in the big, beautiful plan He has for His creation. Just as God uses these reminders to show us our need for a Rescuer, the morning reminders with my girls serve a similar role. Throughout our day, when one of us fails to love, fails to be kind, or fails to care, we can lament together how those choices hurt our family and how frustrated we are by our heart’s proclivity toward sin. It is those moments that remind us of our need for a Rescuer and our helplessness (outside of the hope of the gospel) to ever measure up to God’s righteous ideals. One of my favorite passages in Scripture is Lamentations 3:22-24.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

"The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,

"therefore I will hope in him.” This passage has directly shaped our family’s morning reminder. It’s a truth my girls need. It’s a truth I need. It points us to the hope of our hearts: the steadfast love of the Lord that never ceases. We fail daily, but great is HIS faithfulness. Be reminded of that this morning.